(AKA "Shame in a Pan")
💀 Warning: This dish will clog your arteries and destroy your self-respect. Proceed at your own risk.
Molest the Meat
Heat a pan over medium-high. Throw in the meat. Aggressively mash it with a spatula like it owes you money.
Add onion and garlic if you’re trying to fake effort. Sauté until meat is browned and everything smells edible.
Drown it in Shame
Drain the grease — or don’t, this is your funeral.
Dump in the cream of mushroom soup, your chosen mystery liquid, and Worcestershire sauce.
Stir like you’re reconsidering every decision that led to this moment.
Boil the Noodles in Your Disappointments
Cook noodles in salted water until al dente. Drain.
Dump them into your meat cauldron. Stir.
Cheese Gasm
Add the cheese. Watch it melt like your last shred of dignity.
Stir everything until it’s a cohesive, hot, sticky mess.
Shovel it into Your Face
No plate required.
Eat it straight from the pot with a wooden spoon like the unhinged gremlin you are.
Pairs well with:
Crippling self-awareness, warm soda, and zero witnesses.